Asana, mountain unicycling, climbing, surfing, and intuition have a lot in common. When you first ride a “muni”, or climb, surf, whatever, you struggle and hold tension, and over-work in order to succeed. You try to figure out how to balance and move from a very physical point of view, versus an intuitive, inner point of view. Relaxation is the key. Any training that will develop a concentration necessary to accomplish an activity, is best when combined with a relaxation type training. The breath is the relaxation training, while the asana, movement, is the physical. Over time the focused concentration become relaxed and effortless. Pushing too hard will cause resistance, slowing down the process. Tension, or anxiety will hinder any learning, impairing concentration, and moving you further away from intuition. Self support, self approval, and self love will enhance concentration, and move you towards your intuitive skills. If relaxation and a quiet mind are needed to succeed, learning to quiet the mind is essential to find this awakening. A quiet mind will serve you by allowing you to remain centered during times of external, and eventually internal turmoil.
Late Night Meditation.
Sitting in a cold space, trying to find a place to rest my restless heart.
My thought patterns start a failing, seems I hear my own voices saying, it’s not alright.
A restless night in my mind, spending too much time, looking and trying to find.
My thoughts keep on a flashin’, same ol’ stuff and foolishness passin’ though my mind,
Then I slow my breath, and slowly find, the distant rhythm’ of my heart, turns out I’m fine.
It’s a busy night in my mind.
So many times I’ve wondered, doesn’t matter how I look at it,
I still see it, and it always comes out the same.
It’s life, and I still play this thinking game.
I find my heart space is achin’, so I take a breath, and try to pass some time.
Sometimes late at night, it gets hard to rest,
Til I let go of my image, and breath deep in my chest, then I feel just fine.
Now I’m hoverin’ by my head space, and I finally have a warm place, to spend some time.
Things will be just fine. It’s a quiet time in my mind.
Overcoming Fear and Choosing to Stay Positive.
You know the saying, a picture is worth a thousand words, here’s a thousand more to help tell the story from my point of view. I recently had the honor of being La Yoga magazines profiled teacher. The editor decided to get a photographer to take photos of me not doing yoga, but rather, riding a mountain unicycle. I had never met David Young-Wolffe, the photographer, and his wife, and Sherpa, assistant, Pam. We all kind of agreed that I would pick a place to ride that I was familiar with, and David would pick the spots to shoot. So I figured Pasao Mirimar is one of the most scenic and steep fire roads in the Santa Monica Mountains, I ride it alot, and the views are incredible, so lets go that way. We meet for the first time at the trail head. We all start lugging the equipment up, and chatting and getting to know each other. About half way up this steep road, I point out that a single track that may offer some cool photo opportunities. I am no photographer, so it truly is just a guess. I am basically just making David look behind him, in case it is actually good. He looks back and says great, lets shoot here. So we set up, and the first part of the shoot is me riding uphill, vs downhill. Both completely different animals. Uphill sucks, downhill is a blast; however, don’t let it get to out of control, because riding a muni downhill can feel like you trying to stay atop a bucking bull. David sets up, and I ride the uphill a bunch of times til he gets some stuff he is happy with. Then we wander up the single track and are now looking down a steep incline with spectacular views of the Pacific ocean, David walks and slips and slides his way around this steep sandy loose terrain looking for a good place to shoot the downhill photos. He will tell you, it is a struggle to walk, let alone ride this hillside. He finds a place where the trail shoots between two bushes and then drops off to the left into a water rut and ask, “can you ride this”. He has managed to pick one of the most difficult sections of this part of trail. The single track is steep and tilted to the left with water ruts in it, and bushes and obstacles abound. It is relatively challenging for me, and in certain ways pushing my limits, but not too bad; however, mentally David has chosen the worst case scenario. He has no idea that the exact place he is asking me to ride, happens to be the exact place where I had the worst accident ever riding my muni (mountain unicycle). Three years ago, on a rainy day, I decided to go for a ride all alone. That ride at this exact location is where I ended up blowing out my AC Ligament in my left knee. I literally changed my life at this spot. It took me well over a year to recover from this and in many ways, I was still holding onto the physical and mental trauma of the moment. So here I was, stalling, trying to process what to do. Part of me is thinking f@ck this, if I screw up, I am gonna get hurt, and maybe hurt David or Pam. Another part of me is thinking, I have avoided this exact place for the past years purely out of fear. I have ridden harder stuff in many ways, but not the exact spot that injured me. Since the injury, I would fail, each time I had previously tried to “nail” this section of the trail. I would approach it, but then I would back out, just as I would crest over the uphill, always justifying it with some excuse about going easy, be careful, you are getting older, I need to be more careful, I need to have legs that actually work. Foolish stuff like that! Also, at the same time, I am also making sure I keep my ego in check. I entered this photo shoot demanding to myself that I would not get hurt letting my ego try to get a foolish picture for a magazine spread. I knew if that happen, Felicia, Ally, David, and Pam would all kill me, and the yoga community would get a pretty good laugh. So I took a moment alone faking like I was checking the terrain, but really I was mentally wrestling with all of it, and trying to be logical and make a decision to ride it or not. I finally concluded that I would try to ride the top and just go to the point where you can’t turn back and step off. Once I commit to the area between the bushes with the water rut, I pretty much have to nail it, or I am in a heap of trouble. I ride to the no turning back point a few times, each time being forced to bail off the muni. David is shooting and Pam is trying to light it, and both are trying to balance on the incline and avoid me as I jump off and have to run downhill between them scrabbling to not fall and get injured. The photo of me in the air, with the unicycle in the air, is basically approaching that point of no return, I am choosing to back out, and reaching back to control the fall of the unicycle so David and Pam are safe. At this point they are farther below me. After 4 or 5 tries, I begin to realize it is all mental. I conclude that I have defeated myself with fear. I am so concerned with falling and blowing out a knee or hurting them, that it is not possible to ride this line. I am standing at the crest, heart pounding, about to tell David I can’t do it. Then, at that exact moment of giving up, I glance up in the beautiful blue sky, and a pair of Red Tailed hawks are circling in the distance. It took me away from my thoughts and fears for a moment. If you know me, you know I can get distracted from sounds, sights, smells, a bit more easily than others. I feel hyper sensitive at times. In ways it is bad, in ways it is great. I can be “in the moment” fast, however I can forget what we were talking about because a cool looking bird flies by. Well I had my moment with the hawks, and during it, I realized how beautiful and in control they were just riding the wind. No fear, just going with the flow. I realized I was being held hostage by my fear, and it is most likely having a deeper affect upon my life than I have recognized. Avoiding this part of the difficult path, not facing my fears, was far more than me not riding this section of trail and/or missing a photo. Those both will be meaningless when I am in the grave someday. I realized I need to ride this, just to give my soul the confidence it had lost years back when I got physically and mentally hurt at this very spot. At that point, I decide that I need to commit to trying to ride into the fear, past the pain, and out into freedom and bright blue skies. In control, but not too in control. Basically like any good yoga asana should be practiced. In the moment, looking for space with the breath, but not done with ego, or fear, or any negativity, but rather in touch with the heart, nature, and essentially all the energy surrounding the situation, all with a positive attitude. In this case, a stunning trail, filed with life, sunshine, two hawks, and two kind people who have no idea how hard this is, but they sure are smiling and waiting patiently. So I get one foot set on the pedal, locking it in place and jump up on the seat and quickly get my other foot on and begin to descend. The unicycle wants to run away on you when you ride it downhill, especially so on something this steep. In order to control it you must constantly put back pressure on the pedals, essentially slowing it down the whole time you balance. If it gets to much momentum you are in deep shit and it’s gonna be ugly. As I approach David and Pam, I slow a bit, checking my momentum and decide to go for it. As I commit to line I have chosen, I lose sight of David and Pam, and feel completely dialed into the act of trying to ride this difficult line. As I buzz by them, I can only hear the clicking of the camera, and there movement as they pull back making sure I don’t take them out. Then when it is clear, I dismount and walk back up hill to see if they got it. David is grinning as he says, “I think this is it, check it out, looks like a great picture Charlie.” I look at the picture, but don’t really see it, because I am still processing the fact that I just rode the exact line of trail that I had avoided for 2 years out of pure fear. I feel great, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It sure feels good to get rid of a piece of fear in your life. Ridding your mind of something that should really never have been held onto anyway. Life has its ups and downs. Always has, always will. Don’t let fear, lead to inaction. It is a slow death. Fear helps in times of survival warning you of danger. This is the positive side of fear, When fear begins to inhibit your ability to take action, it now becomes a negative influence within you. It no longer serves you, but instead, causes doubt, which can lead to inaction, and possibly failure. Your thoughts will make something scary or not. What you think and portray will lead to action, or inaction. Crazy thing is, most of what you worry and fear, actually never come true. You have just accumulated a bunch of negative thoughts that seem insurmountable. It borderlines pure fantasy at times. My humble advice is to stay positive. This is a battle that you must face and deal with each day. Fight to be positive. Choose to be happy. When negative thoughts flood your brain, STOP! Breathe. Control your thinking, think positive. It is difficult, I fail constantly, but I try. Each victory builds upon itself, and over time, you, and not your circumstances, control your inner smile. Be healthy, be happy, Peace&Stillness, Charlie
“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow”
Swedish proverb
Lost and Found
Every time I go into the natural world, I am offered an opportunity to listen. The wind and water play the music, we all hear it, but who will listen?
I have decided to rekindle the fire and search for some peace with a trip to the valley. No not Burbank, Yosemite Valley. A walk in the Sierras is a reawakening of sorts for me. A way back to simpler truths, that can often set me free.
As I hike up from the valley, the wind picks up, and a light sprinkle of mist begins to fall. Can I listen? I have come to Yosemite for a break. I teach yoga, and as of late, am feeling burned out, and wondering if I should continue teaching at all. I truly enjoy teaching, but often feel that my peaceful approach and laid back vibe are not what many people really want. I have been comparing myself to others, and it is not doing me any good. When you look for your true self in others, your true self will continue to move farther and farther away. Less heart, more mind, usually not a good outcome. Mother nature has always had a way of handing me my true self. Sometimes it is a gentle nudge, sometimes a strong shove. This message was a gentle nudge. More like a zephyr really!
A fog in the valley has silenced the morning, leaving the sheer granite walls the freedom to touch the sky. As I begin the climb up in elevation, I reflect on the past few days in the park. I have seen two coyotes, a few deer, numerous flowers and birds, and an occasional butterfly. I am aware of the sense of renewal a walk in nature makes me feel. The wind carries my cares off to a place of no importance. Here in this high valley, the spring is in full bloom, leaving different shades of green splattered across its landscape with the occasional bright white blossom of a dogwood to bring it all into perfect harmony. Each bird a song, each flower a prayer, and the butterflies seem to flutter in complete freedom. I see why a butterfly is often referred to as a flower in flight. The steady slow climb uphill allows my mind and body to connect through the breath. Nothing forced or even thought of, it just naturally happens. I climb up the steep incline,
taking in the view. From my perspective, the natural world looks like a pinwheel spinning in the wind. Far too much for me to actually take in. I continue to climb the twisting trail as it weaves through the trees. Finally needing rest, I stop, and sit. My new vantage point is from the top of a huge toppled Douglas Fir. I continue to notice nature’s movements all around me, the leaves twitching and floating in the wind, squirrels scampering in the undergrowth, and giant white puffy clouds floating overhead, all indifferent to my presence. I have walked my way into the high country and have chosen to sit on an old huge tree stump. A life that once stood, now falling. I can become immobile like the tree I am resting upon, or I can illuminate my heart with faith, and press on. Life is full of choices, and I am facing a big one.
I have no real idea how long I sat on that tree, or how I decided to return to the trail and travel the path down to the valley, past the cascading waterfalls that beautify this sanctuary. I will say that if I had to spend forever in this place, it would not be time wasted. As I wander down the trail, the birds sing songs to reassure me that all is fine. The flowers show me their individuality, inspiring me to embrace my own, and the butterflies remind me that true freedom lies within one’s mind and ultimately one’s heart. Most of all, I now feel that loneliness only stays in the hearts of those that have forgotten the connection to their creator. I know I will always carry my acceptable burdens, I just hope for the strength to choose my path like a butterfly, each one unique, full of freedom, a flying flower of sorts.
Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself – and thus make yourself indispensable.
— Andre Gide
thank God for pregnant women.
Less than 48 hours later, I entered my first class. Of course I picked out the perfect class, a level one, designed for beginners…Yea right. Not a chance. Instead I asked around the local gym for advice on taking up yoga. Being non-competitive compassionate people, they sent me to an advanced flow class. Thanks guys, I love you too. I suffered from heat stroke, sun stroke (as in too many sun salutations), and almost had a stroke, but I will try to recall the story, hoping you can benefit from it, or at least laugh at my expense.
Let’s set the stage: of course I don’t know where the studio is, so I’m late. Zip up the stairs, already sweating, and into the room. First OMG moment. One hundred, I am not exaggerating, or more students in a huge room. Four guys, and 96 women, AND the guys are all skinny. I have an intelligent thought enter my mind: what if, just what if, this yoga thing is hard. I don’t want to look like an idiot, so I better find someone that looks like they just might suck at yoga. I kid you not, I scanned the room for this “suck at yoga student.” Then into the room, a gift from the heavens, a pregnant (8 months 29 days), woman enters. Lays her mat down, lies down, belly nearly touching the ceiling, and closes her eyes. I of course immediately lay my mat next to hers. She seems to be breathing heavy already and her eyes are closed. Poor lady is exhausted. Awesome, I should look great. Me, I sit up, and watch everyone talking, or stretching, waiting for class to begin. In walks the instructor, and an air of silence falls over the room. From this point on everything is a blur.
I’m sure he didn’t start out in down dog, but I can’t remember, or more likely I blanked it out. So let me describe what I remember. Down dog. That is what I remember. I also remember some of my thoughts in down dog. I remember thinking who in their right mind would keep holding this pose, what benefit can it possibly have. I also recall thinking, why the f@ck won’t he stop doing this pose so I can feel my arms again. I am sure we did other stuff, but then I know we did down dog again, and again, and held it for far too many breaths. These yogis breath way too slow, come on folks, speed it up. Did not matter, because we always ended up in down dog anyways.
By now we are 7 minutes into this 90 minute adventure, and I can feel something in my shoulders, and my triceps, and my hamstring, my calves, pretty much the whole back of my body beginning to burn. I guess it was that opening the teacher was talking about. Looking back, it was more likely the blood leaving my extremities in order to save the more vital stuff in my torso. But I forced myself to go on—and why? Well I had to. When I looked to the side, my 8 month, 29 day, heavy breathing, exhausted pregnant lady, was unfazed by this whole down dog thing. The audacity of this woman. Not one break. Not one child’s pose. Not one moan, or groan. Unless she takes a break, I of course can’t. I am a young, fit male, with way more strength than this pregnant lady. No way am I losing to her. By the way, I was not referring to her as a pregnant lady. It was more like, this F@&^%g pregnant chick better put her knees down or I’m gonna…well you get the idea. It was not one of my great yogic moments to say the least.
Seriously, what was the real reason, the real cause of my agony? Well quite a few things. One of the main things was my competitive mind. I had been very competitive prior to this. I had excelled at sports, playing in college and beyond. Competition was all I really knew. Compare, compete, win! That simple. So I did what I trained my mind to do for years. Not give in, compare myself to others, and do my best to win. Well, the pregnant lady won. Hands down.
After taking about a week to recover, I looked back and made a decision. I actually decided I was not going to compete in yoga. Most amazing, I pretty much have stuck to my promise. I have my moments where I wish I could get into some pose that my body is not open enough or strong enough to do, but those moments are short lived. I don’t let my mind get in the way of my practice. I do yoga for me. It is that simple. I take classes and could care less if I use a block, a strap, skip a vinyasa, take a child’s pose, skip an entire sequence, whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I do my best. However, I listen to my breath, and let that direct me. I refuse to damage the essence of the practice: mindfulness. Be mindful, and move within. Don’t let your ego lead you into injury. Allow your heart to make some decisions, and put the thinking mind on hold. So next time you see me in class or take one of my classes and I make light of difficult pose, or offer you a chance to take a break, or slow down, remember where I am coming from. I got schooled by a pregnant lady, and she still holds a special place in my heart. Namaste.
True evidence that yoga prevents injuries
I came to yoga to recover from some serious injuries I obtained while playing baseball and hockey. I went to my first yoga class, under the advice of my friend and chiropractor. He stated that a balanced yoga practice would undo many imbalances in the body and possibly even prevent some injuries. After just a few months of practice, I was pretty convinced he was right. Well, many years later, and contrary to some evidence by science, I have proof, nearly beyond a doubt, that yoga does prevent injuries. The following non-scientific study has forever changed my mind regarding the value of having a more open and supple body.
However, I will let you decide. Here is what happened to one friend of mine, who will remain anonymous.
Late at night, a guy leaves a yoga class, and heads home to take a shower. His plans are simple, eat some fruit, and spend some time relaxing in the afterglow of a great class. So he steps out of the shower, puts on shorts and a t-shirt, and as he looks down he thinks, “oh, my knees and elbows are a bit on the dry side.” Always being in shorts and teaching in front of people, he decides the dry patch look won’t do—he’ll put some moisturizer on his knees and elbows, he thinks. Fortunately, he’s just picked up 3 free samples of moisturizer from the local health food store, so he opens one of the little containers, rubs some in his hands, and then on to his knees, and elbows.
“Wow, that stuff makes your hands slippery,” he thinks to himself as he tries to fill a glass with water in the kitchen. But his hands are so slippery he can barely hold the glass, so he puts it on the counter and fills it with water. But now, with the added weight of the water, it is almost impossible to hold, and as he opens the fridge to pick out his fruit, the glass squirts from his hand spilling water into the fridge and on the floor. Struggling to keep his mellow yoga vibe, he says a few choice words, and gets a towel to wipe up the water. He leaves the fridge open, the water dripping from the bin to the tile floor. Realizing he will have to get on his hands and knees to wipe up the mess, he crouches down, and begins to wipe up the water.
Got the picture? A man (who looks a lot like me), squatting on a tile floor in front of an open fridge, hands and knees covered in moisturizer, with water everywhere. He’s beginning to get irritated, but still filled with the peaceful energy, and openness of yoga. So, the water is everywhere and he decides to shift from the squatting position, to a more comfortable all fours position to continue the job. Simple enough idea. Well, as soon as his knees hit the wet tile floor, they both accelerate out to the sides, putting him into instant splits, or frog pose, as you may know it. He immediately feels his inner thighs are about to rip, so of course, he plants both palms down to stop his inner groin from ripping. And the instant his slippery hands hit the tile, they too accelerate out to the sides, and he begins to face plant like a puppy on ice. He is now tumbling forward, head first into the f#$#ing fridge, or more specifically, face planting into the vegetable bin. This shows how well balanced he is, and also highlights his amazing core strength, and flexibility, don’t you think?
Now the downstairs neighbor hears this commotion, and comes up the stairs and knocks on the door. So our guy gets up from his watery grave, cursing, wet, vegetables and fruits scattered on the floor all around him, and not a shred of dignity left. Walks to the door, reaches, grabs knob, and turns. Nothing. Not a damn thing. Hand will not hold onto the knob in any way. Wipes hand on shorts, grabs knob, nada. Holy shit, he can’t open the door. His neighbor below, sounding rather alarmed, says, “Hey dude, you OK?” Yelling though the door, he says, “Yea, wait a second,” turns to run—I kid you not, run—to the kitchen to grab a towel to turn the door knob. As his feet hit the kitchen floor, he slides back into the fridge, knocking more contents from the shelves to the floor. It sounds like he is wrestling with his fridge and the fridge is winning.
Gingerly stepping off the tile and back to the door, towel in hand, he somehow manages to open the door. Now the guy below him moved in about a week before, so this is the first time they get to meet. You have heard about first impressions. You get the picture. The guy below has a puzzled, amused, look on his face. He says, “You OK?” (I’m pretty sure he wanted to say, nice to meet you loser, what the hell is going on up here?). Sheepishly, yogi man says, “Yea, I just slipped, and fell…a couple of times. Sorry to alarm you”. Neighbor turns, heads downstairs, shaking head and chuckling under his breath.
So now our yogi heads back to the bathroom to get re-cleaned up. In the bathroom he notices the moisturizing samples. For the first time, he wonders, “What the hell are these free samples that almost killed me?” The writing is small on the samples, but in the fine print of the half-used package he reads PERSONAL LUBRICANT, FREE SAMPLE ONLY.
So as you can see, without the amazing benefits of a yoga practice, this individual may have seriously torn a muscle on his inner groin, or shoulder while he was doing his amazing impression of Bambi’s first steps on ice. Instead, he only seriously injured his pride.
Yoga does benefit athletes in many ways. It may or may not prevent injuries, the jury is still out; however, it does help to speed up recovery from some injuries. It also helps increase core strength, improve balance and body control, and promote muscular symmetry. It lengthens out the muscles and helps them to relax, raising energy levels and oxygen intake. Mentally it may help sharpen focus and concentration and increase spatial awareness. By bringing awareness to the breath, it may also calm the mind, reducing athletic performance anxiety. Finally, it commonly improves a person’s sleep quality, which directly affects athletic recovery.
And if you doubt the effectiveness of a yoga practice, just cover your hands, feet, elbows, and knees with personal lubricant, find a tile floor, put some water on it, and have at it.
peace&stillness, charlie
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Yoga Rap with Charlie Samos 